to the gym and beyond

I did go get a gym membership, it's true. I just haven't gone yet.  I have started setting my alarm clock back so that I'm getting up a little earlier every day until I have made enough time to go to the gym before school -- it's a process. I'm getting there. I also started walking to school rather than riding. It's a 5 minute bike ride or a 15 minute walk. That's easy math on sustained heart rate duration. Regardless of how I get there I'm hauling ass and pushing to go as fast as I can bacause I'm always late - and I'm always carrying a load (my stupid bag is heavy). Calorie comparison? I dunno. I'm not sure I care.

The thing is, I see other women who are "overweight" and I think they are absolutely beautiful. I see myself and I think 'what the fuck happened to me?' My double standard is brutal.